1) I was at my in-laws’ dressing for a wedding, when my sister-in-law emerged from the bathroom wearing different shoes.
“I bought these two pairs because I couldn’t decide between them. Which looks better with my dress?” I indicated the flashier pump, but her husband pointed to the other.
She rolled her eyes. “Are all guys fashionably illiterate?” She turned to me. “What would your husband say if you came home with these shoes?”
I didn’t have to think. “He’d say, ‘Good grief, woman! You bought TWO pairs of shoes?”
2) My one daughter is in her “ask why” phase and it’s making us crazy. The other night my husband attempted to read her a picture book about cars, but her incessant questions made it difficult.
“Why is the car red, Daddy?”
“Because red looks good against the yellow background,” he said.
“Why is he sideways?” she interrupted again.
“Sometimes people look better from the side,” he said.
“Why is doing that?” she asked, pointing to a picture.
“He’s changing his car’s oil.”
“Why?”
“So it keeps running. Cars need oil and gas and I need you to listen.”
“Okay.”
He hurried to the next page, but was ready when our daughter pointed to a picture of a gas pump, the charge of$10.35 written on it.
“Why does it say that, Daddy?”
“Because this book is fiction.”
3) The other day in school my daughter's kindergarten teacher told me Juliet had volunteered the following:
"Juliet, what makes you feel special?"
"Uh, I am a triplet. That means I was squished in my mom's belly underneath my brother and sister. And they kept kicking me! That's because my mom kept saying to God, 'Can I have a baby, can I have a baby, can I have a baby, can I baby?' And boy, did He say yes!"
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